From time to time in this space, I will attempt to address real world topics as they relate to Web technologies. Yeah, I know this has nothing to do with ColdFusion, but this does have a great deal to do with information technology, how our brains interpret data nowadays, and how the media chooses to present this data to us. Honestly, it’s more important than what methodology you use to call Custom Tags.
I briefly mention The Mitchell Report in my About page. Yes, it is amazing how quickly information is relayed to us. However, one downside of the Web world is in the way we actually read, and gather our information. This concept has been dubbed the F-Shaped Pattern. In short, it’s the idea that people don’t simply read your web page; they scan it first from side to side, then up and down, looking for phrases that stand out and capture their attention. In my opinion, this not only relates to how we process information on a web page, rather, it now relates to how we process information in general. Since so much of our time is consumed on the web (in this study, the average web user spends THREE hours a day online), I thoroughly believe that our brains adapt to other information in the same fashion that they digest web data.
So when presented with a 409 page report regarding the history of performance enhancing substances in baseball, we immediately try to trim it down to headlines. And this isn’t entirely our fault. The media (here this can be read, E-S-P-N), knows that this is the way most of us will digest this information, so they serve it up to us in this fashion with a bowl and a spoon. Inside the bowl, Alpha-Bits cereal is floating around, and the letters are arranged “C-L-E-M-E-N-S”, and “P-E-T-T-I-T-T-E” and “T-E-J-A-D-A”, etc… Of course the Clemens letters are in an enormous bold font enhanced by CAPITALIZATION and EXCLAMATION!!!
Now this is not an attempt to exonerate any of the guys on this list. They are on this list because they are highly suspected of having cheated, and this space will not be dedicated to proclaiming the innocence of American icons whom I will never likely meet. However, the purpose of this report seems to be entirely misconstrued. Mitchell, in his report, is attempting to describe a history of performance enhancing drugs in baseball. He is doing this in order to come up with a solution to the problem, so that the future is not marred in controversy like the present (Barry Bonds 756 and 73, and for that matter Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, and now certainly Roger Clemens and his 350 plus wins). And, while I admit, I don’t have the time to read the entire report (as is the case for most Americans), the purpose of the report is as clear as crystal.
But, that is not what is sexy, it’s not what is NOW, it’s not what is, for lack of a better word, 21st century. Big names are now. A 409-page PDF? Bully! How about an 80 or so person ordered list (<ol> and <li> to us web geeks out there)? Now that’s the bomb-diggity!!! It’s the shiz-nit!!! Should we alphabetize the list so that it’s easily searchable? Hogwash (this perhaps is the only time in this space that I will ever use the word, hogwash, so I really enjoyed typing that way more than I should have)!!! Let’s order it by how famous each individual is that’s on the list!!! In this era of Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton, the paparazzi stalking celebrities like a lion stalking its’ prey, the NBA and it’s marketing of the star athlete (LeBron, Kobe, Shaq) over the concept of team (the Spurs), we are simply gluttons for the big name. So we order the list:
- Clemens
- Pettitte
- Tejada
And we completely miss the big picture.
